Feb 05, 2003 - Anorexia is Phat!


Hello everyone Audiophile here, welcome to today's update. It's great to be back home from a nice Christmas holiday spent in BC with family. I missed my home and friends whom were kind enough to hold a "coming home" party for me. I haven't much news to share with you so I shall share a language lesson with you. This update will teach you how to learn Chinese in 5 minutes:

1) That's not right......................................... Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harboring a fugitive?........................ Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP............................................. Kum Hia Nao
4) Stupid man................................................ Dum Fuk
5) Small horse................................................ Tai Ni Po Ni
6) Did you go to the beach?............................. Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped into a coffee table......................... Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
8) I think you need a face lift........................... Chin Tu Fat
9) It's very dark in here................................... Wao So Dim
10) I thought you were on a diet....................... Wai Yu Mun Ching
11) This is a tow away zone............................. No Pah King
12) Our meeting is scheduled for next week......... Wai Yu Kum Nao
13) Staying out of sight................................... Lei Ying Lo
14) He's cleaning his automobile........................ Wa Shing Ka
15) Your body odor is offensive......................... Yu Stin Ki Pu
16) Great...................................................... Fah Kin Su Pah

Now that you are equipped to deal with several situations in Chinese, you're going to have to check out this hot new comic that was posted by !zebu! which features a day in the life of an RBlord. If making comics for Rblords has unlocked your creative side and you starve for more of a challenge, why not check out this site if you dare.

The annual Holopalooza bash once again went out with a bang at the infamous Holowaty mansion up on rocker lane. It could be best described as Amphetamine Adrian meets Fatboy Rob vs Demons & Wizards X2. Kudos goes out to to my main niggaz Fuckface who played their FULL unrehearsed set to a crowd of angry booing crackheads. Bastard Machine filled their yearly time slot performing a set of pure rock with a side of extreme volume. After I smoked some bananas I lost track of time for 3 or 4 hours. My only recollection of the events therein are choking on cheese and crackers while Spitfire shoved gummy worms in my ears and nose. After I woke up dazed and confused from the Lysol bread Tyraq and I proceeded to persuade hippy women to declothe themselves and let us take pictures....this of course ending in failure.

I shall bid you all farewell and leave you with this inspiring picture. You don't even have to be a computer geek to understand what it's all about. Have a great day and enjoy!


May 08, 2002


Hello everyone... It's been a while since I made an update for good ol' Rblords and since Nigs Peterson (aka Spitfire) is busy with his affairs I shall take the spotlight and steal what attention I can until Spitfire realizes I am slowly turning his website into a multi-level marketing cash cow.

This week (May 10th) the "Blues Boy" himself will be visiting Saskatoon. Yes BB King is still touring and we are lucky to have him visit our city. I consider this a once in a lifetime opportunity as I have never had the chance to see a live blues artist, not to mention one of such talent. I know that Spitfire is quite a big fan of BB King, but I haven't had the chance to get to know his music so I am looking forward to having my first listen and I'm sure I will be pleasantly surprised.

Once again another year has passed and old man winter (although still showing his ugly face every now and then) is going home to make room for summer. And what better way to kick off a new summer than packing up your gear and going out for a helluva good time camping at Pike Lake. The tradition lives as the staff of Rblords and all of it's affiliates (and their wives, kids, mistresses, and addictions) are once again re-living the Pike Lake experience this May 17-19. Come one come all... I can't stress how fun it can be to roll around in a tent making out with the opposite sex for 3 days at the low low price of a campsite. Or maybe going for a quick dip in the refreshing lake during the middle of the night naked with a bounty of beautiful (but not illegal) young willing women. Or having the rain pour down on what you expected to be a nice warm night only to have you ending up mud wrestling with a plethora of young beauties. YOU'D HAVE TO BE CRAZY TO STAY HOME!

As of lately there seems to be a trend developing among the Rblords staff. It seems this year motorcycles are in and walking is out (leaving me to set my own trend for being 22 and still never owning a car). This all began when someone bought an old vintage motorcycle to drive for the summer. Then the next guy decides that's a good idea and buys a motorcycle until everyone ends up owning one. Then we end up forming a motorcycle gang and eventually a Mafia ring called the Christ Punchers. I can already see it happening so I advance ordered the embroidered leather jackets for our up and coming gang.
As many of you have probably read in previous updates, Spitfire just bought a lovely new home somewhere in the booneys where he can raise a wonderful family and sell cars on the side. He will now live away from all the amenities except the Sutherland bar, and of course Jet D. I don't know the exact address, but I will include a picture of what the house looks like and as of June 1st I was specifically told to invite as many people as possible for a party that ends all parties. So if you spot this house feel free to join the party at any time. Rumor has it once the party gets too big Spitfire will be moving the party into his backyard where he will supply a hottub and trampoline for the pleasure of his guests.

For the last few months I have been busy recording music for a friend who is the member of a two piece orchestra of rock. The album is scheduled to be released in its entirety by late summer, but I have a hunch that pre-mastered tracks will be kicking around to be heard very soon. The band is called Bastard Machine and Rolling Stone calls it "THE REAL FUCKING DEAL".

Although the car on the right is an old Mercedes Benz and not the classic Volvo, I can still picture Unit3 driving in on his way to the Liquor Store with Rammstein blasting out the Public Access horns he would have glued to his roof. And with tires that nice and big what would stop him from actually driving on other people's lawns, I mean lets face it.. there's less traffic on lawns. The only thing I think this car is missing (if it were under Unit3's posession) are some nice big bull horns on the hood and a cow catcher grill.

That concludes this Rblords installment, stay tuned for more exciting adventures. Have a good week and Enjoy!


Jan 28, 2002


Hello everyone, and welcome to the newest installation of the Rblords update (on it's 5th wind, but not yet on it's last leg). There have been a number of developments over the past few weeks that I feel everyone might like to hear about. First off the annual Holocaust, aka Holopalooza 2002 took place last Saturday evening. Appearences from the newly formed Bastard Machine and a special guest appearence from Fuckface with their chart topping hit "Fuck" riled the under aged crowd at Holopalooza.

Other guests such as the lonely ravers, super sexy lezbian, sheman turntabler, and Jo Jo the turned down-half upset-well bodied stray joined the party. It was not complete with a lot of extremely loud music, tons of loitering and destruction, an out of control smoke machine, and ultimately a visit from the Saskatoon Fire Department (thanks boys).

With the winter season in Saskatchewan comes the crazy ass freezing cold weather, and with that comes supreme sickness. One of which my body decided not to repel, I have been out of comission for several days because of the flu; many others are also just getting over. All things exciting seem to come to a standstill when old bastard winter comes to town, everyone stays home and falls into a deep depression (This is why I've decided to warm the hearts and souls of those people experiencing the winter blues with a collection of wonderful pictures I've found floating around the Internet).

With winter in full force, thoughts of summer are becoming very prominent in the minds of friends and family. In the past week I have heard our annual may long weekend Pike Lake extravaganza mentioned on three different occasions. This year everyone has made a non verbal agreement to use absolutely no scruples when in pursuit of members of the opposite sex. This should prove to be a very interesting and successful event for many this year.

Rblords unofficially heard that Jet D is now attending University to unofficially receive his doctorate in martial arts "single blow" death moves..... unofficially of course. Also joining him is Dog Pound who is attempting to receive a masters in making babies, and trailing behind in the game of education is myself attempting to complete grade twelve before I turn 30.

As many of you may already know Spitfire has been spending much of his time watching the market for a house where he can begin the next segway of his life as an independant man with an excuse to create offspring and store appliances on the lawn. Recently he has been on the look out for more of a peaceful and remote location like an acreage where he can shoot his guns in the morning without hitting innocent bystandards and let Dog Pound park his acumulation of american muscle cars.

That concludes this update, stay tuned for more!

Have a good week and enjoy.............Toodles!

Jan 18, 2002


What's that soop?
Timmy's stuck down in the well?

OH, you like breasts!

Oct 15, 2001


Hello and welcome to yet another installment of the Rappablords Update brought to you by yours truly, Audiophile. There have been huge huge developments in the last several weeks since my last update. I will start with the oldest news and work my way up to present day.

As many of you may know Spitifire had recently bought yet another Unbreakabah Dodge product to last the bitter winter while his exotic sportsters are parked for the off season. And he could not have picked a better car to fight old man winter than the Chrysler Cordoba. Beautiful yet bold this car will make any head turn, just ask Clarence Chickenfeather.

YC also took his Chevelle to the local 1/4 mile strip for the last races of the season to test how the car would run in a typical "street race" without slicks and full exhaust and his best time was a 13.5.

Also THE Connor Prediger is now officially back in Saskatoon for the long term. She decided to leave London after her Mexican/English husband fled the country when a warrant for his arrest was issued. Although Connor has been through a rough recovery over the last week, she is settling in quite nicely and you can expect her to be back at work making babies within the next 2 weeks. Welcome back Connor!

Rumor has it that the infamous Mr.Trembach has been training to be a master in the Martial Arts field. Many questions have arose since this information has been released. I for one think it is a good thing, but still concede that Trembach had better make his way far beyond the citrus colors of his current belt before he decides to challenge me!

I believe this was taken during the great fire of '98

The word on the streets is Blue4130 likes Hummers!

There were great festivities had last weekend when Dog Pound held the first party he'd had in a coon's age. Some of the highlights included, suffocation of Cayley, shit kicking of Dallas by way of feline, Clayton making out with Danielle while Brian gave them the thumbs up, the removal of the only native person at the party, YC showing us all how to properly dance the Disco craze!, Unit3 showing us how to properly dance the Zombie craze!, and Dog Pound showing us his underwear.

Since YC has bought his digital camera, the access to pictures of friends and members of the Rblords staff over the computer have been phenominal. I have also recently purchased a new video card that enables me to send full motion video to my computer via a video camera. These two things give me the opportunity to make my own personal movies on my computer, and one of my newest hobbies is making compilations of friends.

My first compilation is called Friends I and you can download it by clicking here. Many of you have already seen Friends I so I am also including Friends II which is the newest addition to the Friends series which can be downloaded by clicking here. If you are having difficulty viewing the video you may want to download the proper codec which can be found here.
NOTE: Both these videos are approximately 20 megs in size.

And lastly YC had a get together at his cabin overlooking Chitek lake last weekend. There was great fun had during this getaway until Dog Pound challenged Spitfire to a Busby eating challenge. Spitfire not being one to back down from such a challenge barreled into the duel head first. As you will see from the pictures below; no one wins in an eating contest!

That concludes this update, stay tuned for more!

Have a good week and enjoy.............Toodles!

Sep 14, 2001


Audiophile here. Welcome to the Rblords update. I would like to dedicate this update to the recent attacks on The United States, or more specifically a related picture I found on the Internet.

This is a picture I came across while searching for information on the attacks in the US. The caption to this particular picture was something along the lines of "A young Afghanistan boy celebrating the attacks on America." Much to my surprise as I read along it explained that this kid was firing a real machine gun into the air in celebration. After reading that I had a major double take and had to to re-read the blurb on this kid once again confirming that he was firing a live machine gun into the air. I just stared at this picture for five minutes before I decided that I would save it and put it up on Rblords since it had such a strong impact on me.

First off I see a picture that displays irresponsibility and ignorance. I am not even talking directly about the child, but the enviroment that surrounds him. Does he understand the fullest extent of WHY he should or shoudln't be happy. And if that I cannot see how he could imagine the reality that will become of him the day the United States retalliates. Just as in this child I look at other celebrations that are being held by the older generation of Afghanistan and I wonder how they can find celebration in something as petty as their actions. Has the older generation (like their children) been programmed to hate without reason?

When you attack the most powerful country in the world and openly celebrate in front of American cameras in spite, do you ever once consider the consequences? Are these children, and their children's children going to be ready to die for a country without conscequence like the murderers that hi-jacked the planes? How can these people consider the hi-jackers actions hoeric? I would classify that as extremely cowardly. To hi-jack a plane, run it into a building killing thousands of innocent people, then leaving your country behind to bear the brunt of your idiotic actions all to make a point!!

What more can I say?

Aug 09, 2001


Hello everyone, and welcome to another Rblords update care of yours truly, Audiophile.

It seems as if the nice weather has been keeping everyone away from their computers and out watching women buy groceries in IGA with their bikini's on. It was so hot out yesterday that the transient Indians of 22nd street got their fifteen minutes of fame when the Star Phoenix put them on the front cover of the paper after holding a rain dance outside the Albany. When Star Phoenix reporter asked why the rain dance took place, Denton Prickleybush replied "Cuz the fucking sidewalk is burning my feet, and I don't have any shoes".

Hmmm bear with me, the evidently nude pictures above are supposed to be pictures of girls in bikini's to go along with my previous comment about bikini's but they don't seem to be displaying properly. I'm working on it!

In other news, YC gets a very very young pussy to have around the house keeping him busy after those long days at work. It's very hairy and cute, and smells good so YC does not have allergies yet, lets keep our fingers crossed. The picture above is an actual picture, notice YC is black, he has been outside all weekend!

I would like to talk a little bit about car stereos today. As you will see from the picture above, this goes against..... ARGH...another nude picture!! Ok as you will see from the picture BELOW this stereo goes against everything I believe in. As a general rule I never considered sitting in front of a bass vent a good idea, nor do I believe that it would raise the sound quality of your stereo. Call me crazy but I thought this was common sense. Another thing, do you notice hanging on the seats are ear protectors, maybe I'm just out to lunch but does this not contradict the whole point of porting bass directly into your ears. If you are a mungoloid and like nearly putting your head into your speaker enclosure why would you wear ear protection? I never imagined such a stereo would exist, and I certainly didn't think it would be desirable. It's ideas like this that keep company's like Bose and Kicker in business.

On another note, Connor Prediger, a friend of the Rblords staff residing in London (not Ontario) has made another exciting announcement. Connor was scheduled to make another stop in Saskatoon around Christmas time, but yesterday she announced that whe will be moving back to Saskatoon to stay. Her husband was caught selling a over a ton of herion last Friday and has been sentenced to 6 life terms in prison and "no chance in bloody hell" of paroll. Connor is still scheduled to be coming back at Christmas, and rumors are that she will be looking for a new husband under the tree.

Spitfire and his girlfriend Dawn have headed off into the wild yonder to explore the land of our neighbours to the south. That's right they are touring the United States with the Super Supra with just over a week's holidays. Spitfire reports he has already received a body cavity search in three states probably due to his suspicious character. After hearing this I set-up an interview with one of the State troopers that initiated the cavity search and asked him why he would search Spitfire in such a way, his response was "The bastard was really asking for it". I then asked him "What did Spitfire do that required a cavity search", he replied "Nothing, I told you he asked me if I could search him from b'hind, so I did!"

This just in from the Rblords newscenter, Dallas is reported to be inviting all that know him by name or face to Canora this Saturday where his parents will be whooping it up to the whee hours of the morning in celebration of their day of marriage. Dallas and his parents kick so much ass that you CANNOT miss it. Bring a case of whoop ass to the party cuz Tom will smack you if you don't!

That concludes this Rblords update, stay posted for furture updates, cuz there will be some.... promise!

Have a good week and enjoy.............Toodles!


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